2013, what a year!

oh look my january 6 note! yep, credit to me

oh look my january 6 note! yep, credit to me

I’ve been really emotional for the last 4 months.  The changes I wrote earlier here in my blog are serious matters I just didn’t realize it until it happened.

Let me just tell you about my not so beautiful but pretty meaningful 2013,

I congratulated myself in early January for making it on another website (other than my blogs), originally I wanted my wallpaper to appear on December but well I was too late so I submit another one for January. I checked the website on New Year 2013 and was over the top when I saw my shot among others. I remember bragged about it to my best friend almost everyday.

February came. It was supposed to be a loving and caring and sweet month (according to my personal thoughts) but right on the Valentine’s Day something happened. She tried her best not to break down in public, she’s good with putting a brave & happy face. She is one tough woman.

March was the happy month for me, F1 started in Australia – though I couldn’t watch it – with Raikkonen as a winner, which was great because it was one of his easiest & brilliant wins. As a fan, I admire his brilliance of driving, I was proud that he beat Ferrari & Red Bulls.

April. I went to my hometown for almost a week, met my family, and passed through the streets I used to walk. Remembering the past is bittersweet.

May. I remembered writing for OhLife, think I started it last month… I sprained my ankle in a mysterious way. The rest of the days were blurry except the races I watched.

June was the first stage of my stressful days at work though I had fun when my cousins spent the holidays here. I knew the changes would come to me this year but I didn’t really think about how to deal or how to at least accept it.

August, oh august all I can remember is how long I waited F1 summer break to be over just to get disappointed at Spa. Kimi did not finished. DNF. RAI OUT. Felt seriously sorry for him.  Sometimes you ran out of luck, that’s what he said.

September, the month who started it all. Things happened that month, the happy journey, the scary new path, the sad instincts, and the hard-to-accept facts.

I turned 24 on October; little did I know was I had to deal with some major breakdowns with myself. I had troubles accepting some facts, I tried hard to ignore it but nothing happened except that I broke down. Big time.

November marked the last appearance of Mark Webber in F1 races, good to see him in FIA Gala and of course Vettel & Alonso…  Kimi finished 5th on the championship, not bad for someone who had a back surgery (and pissed of not being paid) and missed the last 2 races.

Finally December! Well a part of me was ecstatic for Christmas, for the New Year, for the new season ahead; most of all is for the holidays.  Kimi’s surgery went well and he went to visit Maranello before Christmas, he’s back! Nice to see news about how the team is happy to have Kimi back.

A part of me is freaking out of the unfinished tasks I have, I’ve been using the holidays escape my responsibilities. It’s getting worse. Believe it or not, I missed work today.. it wasn’t intended but glad that it happened.

I’m going to miss 2013 so bad with all the memories but I’m sure there’ll be tons of new ones next year. All I need is to be brave, for myself.

I hope everyone will treasure your most unforgettable magical moments this year without any regrets,



“It’s freaking October!”, I wrote 3 months ago


I still can’t believe that we’re on the 3rd day of October WHATT! I think I just wrote about the F1 opening season at Australia last month. 

I haven’t post anything here since September because I simply had no energy left to write anything about my days. I rarely check my personal email since last month, I worked overtime for almost everyday for the past 3 weeks, I struggled with panics, I stressed over a project, I interviewed an applicant for the first time, and I struggled with my anxiety before every single meetings. Remember the changes I told you guys earlier this year ? It’s now, it is the time to have major changes at life. Besides God who gives me strengths (and hopes and love) to carry on I feel grateful for everyone around me and of course F1.

I have plenty things to say! I’m both happy & sad that the season is almost over, Kimi is now 4th on the championship 😦 I want him to move up to 2nd or 3rd. The news related to Ferrari was a shock to me because I never think about the possibility (ever). Everyone was shocked I think, there were numerous different comments about the move, some were supportive, some were amazed by the fact that Ferrari will have the strongest line up driver for next year, and some were confused. I was confused. Kimi suits Lotus. Lotus match with Kimi. I like them. After all the massive news Kimi finally answered why, it was because of the money.. Lotus haven’t paid his salary this year. Lotus was reportedly unhappy with his answer but we all know that Kimi always answer straight & honest. I heard some people talk about how Kimi motivation was only money and not the race now that’s hilarious. He flew all around the world with his own money to race and get podiums for a team that haven’t paid him, that’s a real racing addict you got.

He simply like racing that’s why he still racing and get podiums for the team. I admire his work but mostly his attitude, he shut his mouth until he had to answer why he decided to leave Lotus next year. That’s called respect for the team.

So today is October 8 and I’m trying to continue what I started. The podium at Singapore was unexpected for Kimi, he was suffering from a bad back and barely made it through the qualification but showed up on Sunday ready to race. He was unbelievable. He started from 12th, had some fun with overtaking some cars, the team made a great strategy and it worked! Kimi stuck behind Jenson –

again I stopped and forgot to finish that paragraph, so here I am on December 9th. Welcome to December.

This is the longest break for every F1 fan, winter break, waiting and waiting for the testing, first race, new teammates, and everything else. There’s nothing much for us except trying to save money with a hope to watch a live gp.

To all F1 fans around the world,